During one family dine out, a few weeks ago, the minute we were seated, my children immediately started putting their location in social media. I took a look around and more than 50% of the people having dinner were busy with their smartphones, android or their tablets. While they were doing this, they were also eating, and talking to others. Multi -tasking is becoming a norm in this hi-tech environment.
We should really wonder what is the quality of the output that comes from multi-tasking. Take for example a crucial activity, which is part of our daily lives – communication – especially listening. What would be the result of someone who thinks he is listening while busily texting a message in the smartphone? Can we imagine the outcome? From personal experience I have witnessed projects coming up with disastrous outcomes because of poor listening skills. Can this be corrected?
When I am coaching executives, attentive listening helps me to understand the executive whereby to ask the proper questions to help facilitate positive change by improving thinking. And this cannot be done while multi-tasking. Recently I came across 10 guidelines given by another coach (Eric Allenbaugh) on how to increase understanding of others as we listen (without multi-tasking).
1. Listen with a head-heart connection.
2. Listen with the intent of understanding.
3. Listen for the message and the message behind the message.
4. Listen for both content and feelings.
5. Listen with your eyes – your hearing will be improved.
6. Listen for others’ interest, not just their position.
7. Listen for what they are saying and not saying.
8. Listen with empathy and acceptance.
9. Listen for areas where they are afraid and hurt.
10. Listen as you would like to be listened to.
As we learn to put ourselves in the other person’s frame of mind, our ability to understand will increase. And the greater our ability to understand, the better listener we will become.
