During a recent leadership workshop that I was facilitating, we were in the midst of a coaching session. Instead of just lecturing the merits of coaching and mentoring, I decided to bring practicality to the session. The participants were put into a cluster of three – a coach, a coachee and an observer to give feedback. By the end of the session, all three would have role played each status.
At the end of the session, we had time for debrief. One outcome of the debrief was that almost everyone mentioned the challenge they faced when they had to attentively listen. Because of this challenging listening skill, they found it difficult to ask the right questions and bring out the real issues. We spent time on this listening challenge. Breaking out in groups and discussing both the verbal and non-verbal characteristics of listening. We then went into Glenn Llopis’ “Six Effective Forms of Listening”.
Here are the six effective forms of listening that will help get leaders started:
1. Show That You Care
When you care about your employees, they tend to work harder and aim to exceed your expectations. Employees want to be led by those who genuinely care about who they are and what they represent to the team and organization at-large. Don’t just view your employees as tools and resources for your own success – but as people and valuable assets who bring unique capabilities and aptitudes not necessarily limited to their job functions. Many leaders have told me that their employee relationships end at work. Those relationships are short-lived. Employees want leaders who care about their general well-being and who can be depended upon during times of professional and personal hardships.
2. Engage Yourself
Beyond caring, engage yourself in matters important to your employees. When they share their opinions, ask questions and encourage them to elaborate and expand upon their perspectives. When you engage yourself more actively, hold yourself accountable and follow-up with your employees. They will know that you are listening, paying attention and attempting to understand what matters most to them.
3. Be Empathetic
The workplace is fueled with the stress and pressure of each day. Because every employee manages stress and pressure differently, it is important that you are empathetic to how these distractors impact employee performance.
Express your concern and show your employees that you feel their frustrations. If you are an old-school leader, don’t be afraid to express sentiment or feel that it will weaken your stature or authority as a leader. Empathy is a powerful display of listening. I realize that many leaders avoid emotional interactions, but the best leaders know how to empathize and make themselves approachable to those who need attention. Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan were masters of showing empathy towards others.
Great leaders know how to balance the head and the heart.
4. Don’t Judge Others
Leaders that judge others are not listening. Too many times leaders make harsh criticisms about those with a different style or approach. Instead of judging someone, they could be learning from them.
5. Be Expansively Mindful
Great leaders are extremely mindful of their surroundings. They know how to actively listen beyond the obvious via both verbal and non-verbal communication. They acknowledge others via body language, facial expressions and nods. These types of leaders possess a tremendous degree of executive presence and are tuned in to the dynamics that are taking place around them, at all times. Leaders that are mindful are not just hearing conversations; they are listening to them and engaging in the dialogue. They don’t fake it, they are taking note of what is being said and how people are saying it and are making continuous eye contact and gestures. As the leader, everyone is watching your every move and action. If you appear disconnected, you are perceived as disinterested and not listening. Never stop being expansively mindful.
6. Don’t Interrupt
How many times has your leader rudely interrupted your train of thought? It’s fair to say this is a common occurrence. Compassionate leaders listen and don’t interrupt the flow of the dialogue. They embrace two-way communication and are aware that with every interruption comes disengagement. They earn respect from their peers by being a patient listener.
The six effective forms were well received and we ended the session with setting goals on any one or more of the above six forms. One thing that I learned from this session was that, when issues arise, handle it there and then.
