Handling one’s emotion in the workplace is essential to business growth and success on company’s performance. Gautama Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Many of us get frustrated from work and are seeking for a way to get rid of our anger. How do we cope with anger?
Do you feel irritated when you are hungry? My husband could experience mood swing when he becomes hungry! So my quick solution to keep him happy is to provide food for him as soon as I know he needs to eat, to prevent him from getting angry. Later I found out that there are neurobiological reasons behind one’s irritation. When you are hungry, the stomach produces the appetite hormone ghrelin, which stimulates feelings of hunger and triggers an anxiety response — both of which disappear as soon as you eat. Hunger also creates fluctuations in the levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps regulate behaviour — making it harder to control anger.
I always recall the movie “Anger Management” by Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson when talking about Anger Management. We sometimes express our feeling and anger through unfiltered words and actions. Uncontrolled acts that were said and done could lead to consequences and problems. Anger Management is a process of self improvement, self help, or self development. Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion but it’s important to deal with anger in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Consider these 10 anger management tips that might help you perform better in the workplace:
No. 1: Pause or take a timeout
Before reacting to a situation, it is important to ‘pause’ for a while to defuse your temper. Do not react right away.
No. 2: Express your anger when you are calm
As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
No. 3: Get some exercise
Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions. In my case, I could walk several kilometres on my treadmill while listening to music. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.
No. 4: Think before you speak
Never say things that you will later regret. Compose your thoughts before saying anything!
No. 5: Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything, and might only make it worse.
No. 6: Be understanding
To avoid criticizing or placing blame which might only increase tension — use “I” statements instead of “You” to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.
No. 7: Stay positive!
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation.
No. 8: Use humor to release tension
Avoid sarcasm, it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
No. 9: Practice relaxation skills
Practice deep-breathing exercises: inhale (fill air in stomach=rounded tummy) counting 1-2-3, then exhale (removed air from stomach=flat tummy) counting 1-2-3-4
No. 10: Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger especially at the workplace is a challenge. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. One may seek advice from his/her family, close friends, or teachers/mentors. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counselling. With professional help, you can:
1) Learn what anger is
2) Identify what triggers your anger
3) Recognize signs that you’re becoming angry
4) Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way
5) Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression
For those interested, anger management classes and counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management.
I believe it is important to address the anger issues. Once one has learned and understood the principles of anger management, he/she could deal smoothly with everyday’s problem, family and work related issues, and above all, the SELF issues.
As Lao Tzu said― “The best fighter is never angry.”
